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  • Kativa Nashay

She's gotta NOT have it

Updated: Nov 6, 2019



We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead."-Beyonce
My inspiration for this post was Spike Lee's "she's gotta have it" and the way he displayed a woman, as strong minded and free.

For some reason it seems as relationships are supposed to be

modeled after movies, celebrity relationships, and of course social media. Women know exactly what they want, and a lot of women are not afraid to demand it. We are quick to tell a man what we "gotta have" but ladies lets not forget to let them know what we are NOT having.

I have created a clear defined list of 5 things we have to speak up about not dealing with when it comes to dating and relationships.

Let's get to it...


1. Doing wifely duties for a boyfriend

I know we have all heard the phrase "Why buy the cow when you can milk it free." and I completely agree with it, now all men are not the same, but I feel like why take the chance. Men have to stop wanting all the wifely things from girlfriends, unless they are ready to make them a wife. I know that there is a thin line between girlfriend duties and wife duties, But ladies you have to save something for marriage. Now what you save is up to you, but save SOMETHING.


2. Cheating and excusing it with "It didn't mean anything"

Why do men think just because it didn't mean anything, that makes it okay. When in reality that makes it worse, there's literally millions of women who won't mean anything to you, so I have to take that chance with you EVERYDAY? I think NOT. Men have to hold themselves accountable and stop pulling excuses out of their asses about why they've done their dirt.


3. Having to be "Down" through whatever

Now this one bugs the hell out me, Its one thing to be able to sustain when things go bad and weather the storm. However being down doesn't involve you going to jail for 30 years, having a baby outside of the relationship or putting your hands on me. It's MANIPULATION they say the "Real" ones stay down. So we are made to believe that down means going through hell. NO it does NOT. Men need to stop saying they want someone whose gonna stay down, and instead prepare themselves to not have to go down.


4. Emotional Neglect

Now this is a big deal ladies, we are emotional beings, therefore we need some emotional support. Failure to react to our needs, attend to our feelings, and appropriately handle us, are all signs of emotional neglect.

"Emotional neglect is the silent cousin of emotional abuse"-Amy North, relationship expert.

When you are being emotionally neglected, that creates a disconnect in your relationship, You won't feel like you're able to be yourself, and the relationship will no longer make you happy.


5. No manners

Manners are essential, it's something we should notice right away. If you can't open the door for me, that's a no, If you can't put your phone down and have a conversation, that's a no. If you disrespect other women, calling them anything other than their name, that's a NO!!!!!! That's a big no because If he'll do it to them, he will do it to you. Manners are something you have tho come with, if they don't. WE SHOULDN'T BE HAVING IT because that's the most simplest thing to do, just be a gentlemen.


Extra!!

Now this is a EXTRA that falls under manners, If you DO NOT KNOW OUR NAME, JUST SAY EXCUSE ME. If we don't know each other than how the hell can I be your baby? How the hell do you know i'm sweet? and you know damn well I am not your "MA". So don't even try it.

We can not settle for anything less than what we feel we deserve, but we also need to know what we are worth. We have to speak up, speak out, and receive what we deserve because anything less. WE AIN'T GOTTA NOT HAVE IT, now that's one thing to be Blunt about.